After weeks and weeks of hearing everyone spout off about “curses,” I think it’s time to get to the real curse. While the Babe Ruth purchase can be looked back on as a not so wise move, it was a financial one. Had it not been for the money obtained from sending Ruth to New York, there may not even be a Boston Red Sox today. Ruth was many things, the game’s ultimate power hitter, a phenom of a pitcher, a lover of life, but he was not a Vodoo Priest. Wade Boggs was the guy who liked bringing dead chickens to Fenway. The real “curse” that has plagued the Red Sox for the past 80+ years is that they play in the the same league and division as the winninest team in pro sports history. Over the past few generations, many Boston teams have had enough talent to win a World Series. However, they just weren’t better than the Yankees in those particular years. Stop blaming it on Ruth, stop blaming it on Bucky Dent, stop blaming it on Bill Buckner (but feel free to blame Grady and Pedro). And how come only the Red Sox and Cubs are cursed. The White Sox haven’t been to a World Series since 1919. And what about the curses on the Astros, Rangers, and Mariners. How about the curse of the Washington Senators? Those guys will never win another championship. Yes improbable things happen when the Yankees and Red Sox play, but just take it for what it is, players playing better and managers managing better. Leave the mystic stuff out of it.
Andrew Healan
New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable
Taking Your Man To The House
Things turned around a bit last week. Any and all broken bones, lascerations and contutions I sufer from were self inflicted in a drunken rage.
DISCLAIMER: All picks made with my head, my heart is too exhausted after the ALCS.
TOP PLAY
USC (-8) over Notre Dame
The Pope has looked better this year than the boys that play for his cult. Were this game in late November, The Irish might obtain some type of weather advantage. But this weekend the men of Troy roll and then watch the scoreboard like only a non-Top 2 BCS team can.
I WOULDN’T PASS ON
Wazzu (-10) over Stanford
How are these guys this good? How did they lose to Notre Dame? Who is Bill Doba? The boys from the second worst place for a major college in the nation keep rolling toward those big Pac 10 showdowns.
North Texas (-14) over Utah St
The rule still stands, North Texas in a Sun Belt game is almost always a good bet.
Syracuse (+3 1/2) over BC
This is one of those rare hunch games. No stats to back it up.
Cal (+3 1/2) over UCLA
The Bears take the LA sweep. Tedford will win this one with that Berkleyesque brain of his.
UNDERDOG OF THE WEEK
Michigan St (+6) over Minnesota
It’s time to expose these two teams as the Big Ten(11) pretenders and contenders that they are.
ON THE HOMEFRONT
This ain’t a lookover game. The Dogs are all banged up (again) but facing an atroscious Vandy team. Loads of second and third string action. All viewed from the comfort of my home for a mere $29.95. UGA 38 Vanderbilt 10.
I hope for a calming Saturday so I can get through Game 1.
That Poor Kid
So, now I have to name my first born son Hershel Isaiah Lindsey Jorge Marcus Derek Jim Mickey Alphonso Mario Tino Buck Kevin Mariano Aaron Healan.
Being A Bulldog On Saturday Night
WHAT A DAY!
Parting was sweet sorrow on “Seperation Saturday.” UGA and USC both have commanding victories and look to move into the Top 5 after excusable early season losses.
My mind drifted back to how unjust I thought the Ray Goff firing was. My mind drifted back to how happy I was when Glen Mason announced he wasn’t coming to UGA. My mind drifted back to how happy I was when Jim Donnan accepted the job on X-mas day. My mind drifted back to how unjust I thought the Jim Donnan firing was. My mind drifted back to how happy I was when Mark Richt accepted the UGA job.
I had reached a point where I just wanted UGA to be able to compete with the big boys in the East. Now, I think they have reached the goal that my buddy Norm set out — “Be that bad-ass team that everybody hates.” I look forward to the day (next year) where I get the same looks wearing my UGA cap as folks have gotten for wearing their Miami caps the past couple of decades.
The Sean Jones fumble return will go down in Bulldog lore. David Greene made himself a legit Heisman contender (although he’ll have to pry it from Kevin Jones cold dead hands). Billy Bennett’s kicks wobbled through the uprights. Georgia overame yet even more injuries and penalties. And I hope David Pollack had the courtesy to give Michael Munoz a reach-around after making him his bitch all night long.
A loss to LSU can just be schrugged off like a mild cold. It’s mid-October and my team is in the Top 5. They are no worse off than they were on Spetember 19. Just need one fluke upset to put them in the Sugar Bowl (and give me a reason to spend another New Year’s Eve in New Orleans).
41-14. god damn it feels good to be a Bulldog on Saturday night!
We Shall Overcome
Yes indeed, it’s Seperation Saturday. So why not seperate your man from some of that cash he took from you earlier this year.
DISCLAIMER: I am doing my best to concentrate on my auxilary income and not the Rocket-Pedro match-up.
TOP PLAY
Bowling Green (-9 1/2) over Western Michigan
Josh Harris will throw all over Kalamazoo. Greg Brandon has stepped in for Urban Myer and not lost much. The Falcons are coming off a bye (5-2 against the spread in their last seven) and heading into a homecoming match-up with the Broncos (who have owned BG ATS the past few years). But disregard that and back the MAC. This would be the only time this year I would pick a Falcons team over a Broncos team.
CHECK OUT
Pittsburg (-9 1/2) over Notre Dame
“Hi Mr. Fitzgerald, this is the Downtown Athletic Club, are you busy the second weekend on December?” A big game against the woeful Irish still impresses people and Walt’s boys will have that Saturday.
Purdue (-13) over Penn St
I say JoPa you say Terno. I say AA you say RP. While Purdue is playing without a bye week this year, Penn St is 1-7 in their last eight before a bye.
Michigan St (-3 1/2) over Illinois
Where did theses guys come from? Jeff Smoker is playing out of his mind (which is where the La Tech game should be). I still hold some gambling grudges against UICU and always enjoy betting against them.
Virgina (-2 1/2) over Clemson
The only thing dying in the valley this weekend is Tommy Bowdon’s career.
Oklahoma (-5 1/2) over Texas
This is one Mack you don’t back. The Sooners are running the table while the Longhorns don’t have a leg to stand on. If I need to site trends on this game, you just don’t know college football.
North Texas (-7) over Idaho
The best team in the Sun Belt against, well, any other the in the Sun Belt is always enticing. UNT has covered in 4 of their last 5 against Idaho, and is 4-2 ATS versus conference foes. Mean Green screams to a big win.
La-Lafayette (-4) over La-Monroe
It should be mandatory for everyone to play this one. Two awful teams playing for nothing.
Missouri (+7) over Nebraska
That Nebraska D has to give. Brad Smith has to break out. These two events come together on Saturday.
UNDERDOG OF THE WEEK
Duke (+27 1/2) over Maryland
Aside from UConn, the Blue Devils may be the best week-in-week-out underdog play in the nation.
ON THE HOME FRONT
Scary night. The Dogs have no running game. The Dogs have no blocking. However the D will make this one tight. It’s gonna be low scoring, physical and down to the wire. UT 17 UGA 13
Enjoy one helluva weekend. GREAT college games all day (Miam-FSU at noon) and all night (Hawaii with a midnight kickoff), a couple of thrilling baseball games and a NASCAR race thrown in to boot. WOW!
Random Recomendation
This week I pooped in the “Stroker Ace” DVD I bought for $4.99. If you are even a casual NASCAR fan, I reccomend picking this up. Fine turns in front of the camera from Dale and Cale. But It’s all worth it to hear Harry Gant say “Aww hell, here we go again.”
Stop The Bleading
After last week I was afraid that when I logged on to my computer their was gonna be a picture of some big flat nosed guy threatening to infect my PC with some terrible virus. Then I remembered the nice people down in the islands already had most of my money. Well, it’s time to reclaim what was mine (by that I mean money, not dignity).
DISCLAIMER: I wasn’t really trying last week because I thought I was going to win $90 million from MegaBall.
TOP PLAY
Virginia Tech (-26 1/2) over Rutgers
The Hokies blew my underdog play last week, so why shouldn’t they cover against the Knights? VPI is 9-1 against the spread in their last ten road openers and Rutgers has been outscored by an average of 50-10 in their last six meetings. Beamer’s boys just keep clicking and have had little problem dealing with injuries and suspensions. They cruise and Kevin Jones runs alot.
AIN’T BAD
Oregon St (-1 1/2) over Cal
Kudos to Jeff Tedford for devising an incredible game plan against USC last week. But I don’t see him getting the players up two weeks in a row. Maybe if some of these Bears were banging Paris Hilton instead of protesting, well, pretty much everything. The Beav are 3-1 over the last four years in their first conference road game and should be able to win by a field goal or more. Thus causing much civil disobediance among the Berkley student body.
Western Michigan (-14) over Eastern Michigan
When in doubt, bet agasint Eastern Michigan. Or try to win bar bets by spelling Ypsilanti.
Virginia (-8) over UNC
Matt Schaub is back. That alone is worth a couple of TDs in this game. The Wahoos are 8-2 against the spread in the last decade with the Heels. They make the touchdown plus easily.
UNDERDOG OF THE WEEK
Tennessee (-1) over Auburn
Depedning on when you get this line it may not be an upset at all, but nothing else jumped out at me. This may be the last game Auburn loses all season, but lose they will.
ON THE HOMEFRONTGeorgia 24 Alabama 10
The Dogs actually get to put most of their team on the field for a change. In case you’re not sure how much of a mystery there was about UGA’s starting line-up a week ago look to the CBS ad which featured Tyson Browning. I can imagine the network guys sitting around going down the list (“Green?” “hurt his knee.” “Pollack?” “hurt his leg” Gibson?” hurt his hammy.” “Milton?” “probobly not playing?” “Watson?” “hurt ankle.” “Curry?” “out for the year.” “Bennett?” “missed thre field goals last game.” “Well who scored their only touchdown in that game?” “Browning.” “Let’s go with him.”). The return of Milton and Gibson should ease the blitzing on Green and his banged up wheel. I don’t think Richt’s boys will walk away with this one, but they should be able to eek out a cover.
Happy gaming all.
Another One For The Networks
This is a stretch, but just go with it. Maurice Clarett wins his case and is allowed to enter the NFL. The Browns trade up and draft him. He then moves to Cleveland and gets an apartment with LeBron, LeBron’s mom and Jim Brown to give us America’s favorite reality show. Just think of the trip to Best Buy to “decorate” the apartment. Or an afternoon at the mall shopping for retro jerseys. The time they go to get their SUVs tricked out. And seeing them served underage at every bar in Ohio. Good times.
Too Late
Can Major League Baseball revisit the idea of contracting the Twins before Thursday. I’d take a forfeit.
Looking To Bounce Back
The blood letting continued last week. Gonna try to get off that kick with the lackluster weekend.
DISCLAIMER: As a level 20 EA Sports Gamer, my views of reality may be altered.
TOP PLAYIowa (-6 1/2) over Michigan St
As the Hawkeyes enter the Big 10(11) schedule, the nation will start to realize that Kirk Ferentz is for real. Nathan Chandler has adequately filled in for Brad Banks, and Fred Russell is gonna get people talking as they hit the marquee games in October. All Michigan St did was beat Notre Dame, but I’m sure if you ask Purdue this SUnday, they’ll vouch it ain’t that big of a deal.
ALSO CONSIDER
LSU (- 13 1/2) over Mississippi St
Miss St SUCKS! Miss St SUCKS! Miss St SUCKS! Miss St SUCKS!
Purdue (-10) over Notre Dame
Speaking of sucking, look who’s coming to West Lafayette. Kyle Orton is gonna sling it all over the field. And the Irish might, just might, score their fourth TD of the year (moving them into 116th place in that category).
Arkansas (-1 1/2) over Alabama
The Hawg Mollies are gonna open up big holes for Cobbs, and he will then run through them. It gets ugly in Tuscalosetonorthernillinois.
Misouri (-10) over Kansas
Yeah, they went to OT to beat an awful MTSU team, but the Tigers should bounce back and handle the ‘Hawks.
Marshall (-13) over Troy St
Troy St doesn’t have the horses to hang within two TDs of a top 30 team.
UNDER DOG OF THE WEEK
UCONN (+21) over Virginia Tech
Kevin Jones runs wild. Marcus Vick waits for mop-up duty. Hokies win, but no cover.
Based on thw past two weeks performance, don’t go to big on these.