Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable

Stop The Bleading | Andrew Healan

Stop The Bleading

October 3rd, 2003

After last week I was afraid that when I logged on to my computer their was gonna be a picture of some big flat nosed guy threatening to infect my PC with some terrible virus. Then I remembered the nice people down in the islands already had most of my money. Well, it’s time to reclaim what was mine (by that I mean money, not dignity).
DISCLAIMER: I wasn’t really trying last week because I thought I was going to win $90 million from MegaBall.
TOP PLAY
Virginia Tech (-26 1/2) over Rutgers
The Hokies blew my underdog play last week, so why shouldn’t they cover against the Knights? VPI is 9-1 against the spread in their last ten road openers and Rutgers has been outscored by an average of 50-10 in their last six meetings. Beamer’s boys just keep clicking and have had little problem dealing with injuries and suspensions. They cruise and Kevin Jones runs alot.
AIN’T BAD
Oregon St (-1 1/2) over Cal
Kudos to Jeff Tedford for devising an incredible game plan against USC last week. But I don’t see him getting the players up two weeks in a row. Maybe if some of these Bears were banging Paris Hilton instead of protesting, well, pretty much everything. The Beav are 3-1 over the last four years in their first conference road game and should be able to win by a field goal or more. Thus causing much civil disobediance among the Berkley student body.
Western Michigan (-14) over Eastern Michigan
When in doubt, bet agasint Eastern Michigan. Or try to win bar bets by spelling Ypsilanti.
Virginia (-8) over UNC
Matt Schaub is back. That alone is worth a couple of TDs in this game. The Wahoos are 8-2 against the spread in the last decade with the Heels. They make the touchdown plus easily.
UNDERDOG OF THE WEEK
Tennessee (-1) over Auburn
Depedning on when you get this line it may not be an upset at all, but nothing else jumped out at me. This may be the last game Auburn loses all season, but lose they will.
ON THE HOMEFRONTGeorgia 24 Alabama 10
The Dogs actually get to put most of their team on the field for a change. In case you’re not sure how much of a mystery there was about UGA’s starting line-up a week ago look to the CBS ad which featured Tyson Browning. I can imagine the network guys sitting around going down the list (“Green?” “hurt his knee.” “Pollack?” “hurt his leg” Gibson?” hurt his hammy.” “Milton?” “probobly not playing?” “Watson?” “hurt ankle.” “Curry?” “out for the year.” “Bennett?” “missed thre field goals last game.” “Well who scored their only touchdown in that game?” “Browning.” “Let’s go with him.”). The return of Milton and Gibson should ease the blitzing on Green and his banged up wheel. I don’t think Richt’s boys will walk away with this one, but they should be able to eek out a cover.
Happy gaming all.

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Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable