If you give them tax breaks they will come. Southern Louisiana has been slap full of casts and crews for several big name pictures recently. Much of the filming goes on in the neighborhoods surronding my house (last weekend this included some of the chase scenes for The Dukes Of Hazzard). And yeah, nice for the local economy and all that, but damn it fucks up my work commute (all 2 miles of it) and errand running. While I do not view this as a worthwhile trade, the celebrity spotting has been quite fun. Well, really more so than the spotting is the stories I get to hear. So-and-so saw you-know-who at such-and-such place. Here are some of the folks I’ve heard tale of (and quite a few of whom have patroned my place of work): Sean William Scott, Jessica Simpson (but no yarns about Nick), James Gandolfini, Jude Law and Sean Penn. And I’m not the type to get star struck, but there are two movie people in the city that I would love to bump into: Lindsay Lohan (who was seen shopping a few blocks from my house the other day) and #1 on my list has to be Jackie Earl Haley (Kelly Leak from The Bad News Bears). And I hope the stylists are getting paid double time for having to creat hair and make-up that can withstand the New Orleans weather (also, I would like to solicit free advice from these hard working image creators).

So, should I kill all the members of the American Film Institute individually, or as a group? The top 100 songs from movies feature not one song from Purple Rain. Yes, not a single song. Nothing from Prince as a matter of fact. Hell, Under The Cherry Moon and Graffiti Bridge had better tunes than some of the crap on that list, but NO PURPLE RAIN? You figure at least the title track or When Doves Cry, but no. Maybe even a nod to Darling Nikki, the song that brought us warning labels on albums. Let’s Go Crazy was a seminal song from a movie that inspired a generation. But the AFI didn’t care. And who doesn’t love doing their pathetic attempt at the Prince voice when listening to The Beautiful Ones. Oh yeah, they also overlooked the Batman soundtrack. Other ommissions — Uncle Fucker (South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut), Sweat Of My Balls (CB4), Cry Little Sister (The Lost Boys), Lunatic Fringe (Vision Quest), You’re The Best (The Karate Kid), In Your Eyes (Say Anything…), Eye Of The Tiger (Rocky III), No Easy Way Out (Rocky IV), Litle Green Bag (Resevoir Dogs), Everybody Knows (Pump Up The Volume), What Is Love (A Night At The Roxbury), My Hero (Varisty Blues), I’m Alright (Caddyshack), Danger Zone (Top Gun), Tiny Dancer (Almost Famous), Ghostbusters (Ghostbusters), Oh Yeah (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), Chloe Dancer/Crown Of Thorns (Singles), Cannonball Run (Cannonball Run), Blaze Of Glory (Young Guns II) and Damn It Feels Good TO Be A Gangsta (Office Space).

This week I pooped in the “Stroker Ace” DVD I bought for $4.99. If you are even a casual NASCAR fan, I reccomend picking this up. Fine turns in front of the camera from Dale and Cale. But It’s all worth it to hear Harry Gant say “Aww hell, here we go again.”

Now the Latifah/Streep news has registered in my feeble little mind. (and I was able to accomplish that with absolutely NO blood streaming from my ears). I decided that despite all of Streep’s accolades, she would never be able to stick straws up her nose and make googly eyes at Will Smith. Hey, this is how I had to rationalize it, so just work with me (just looked out the window again… yup, sky’s still blue). Let’s move on to other interesting notes from the Acadamy’s announcements this morning. So, “Adaptation” gets a nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay? That’s rich. By the way, I just started writing a sure-fire Oscar nominee for next year, it’s called “Original Screenplay.” This must have been the worst year for animated films in the history of cameras. I mean if the folks from “Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron” get to go to the Oscars then the Lions should get to go to the Super Bowl next year. And yes oh yes, the Mathers boy weaseled his way into an Oscar nod. You know the voting members of the Acadamy must be patting themselves on the back for being so hip and edgy. And as the announcement was being made that a song from “8 Mile” was up for best original song, Randy Newman began to dig a grave just so he could roll over in it. Oh well, at least these weren’t as bad as the Grammys.

Stock up bottled water and canned goods, because the armegedon can’t be far away. Here’s why — Queen Latifah and Meryl Streep are nominated for the same award. They just did that so people like me could make jokes, right? RIGHT???

Why did nobody tell me that David Wain and Michael Showalter (of The State fame) wrote and made a movie? Gotta find Wet Hot American Summer. Anybody know where?