Why did nobody tell me that David Wain and Michael Showalter (of The State fame) wrote and made a movie? Gotta find Wet Hot American Summer. Anybody know where?
Andrew Healan
New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable
They Didn’t See THIS Coming?
Let’s see, you name the label Murder Inc., the studio “The Crackhouse,” and it’s all headed up by a guy named Gotti. And you really didn’t expect the police to stop by?
OK, I’ll adress it
Larry Munson is a beloved announcer. I enjoy the passion he brings to the game. However, I have to agree that if he was in my broadcasting class he would not receive a very high grade. The TV on with Munson in the background is the best of both worlds, you get his passion for the game, but have the visual to keep you up to date. But if you watched ABC’s coverage of the Fiesta Bowl, you saw how Jackson and Fouts did a piss-poor job of getting across the pathos of one of the most exciting college football games I’ve ever seen (not to mention some pretty significant stakes). I know that Keith Jackson will let me know what is going on with the game, but Larry Munson will make me feel it. So yeah, the dude from the SAV paper had some good points, but he just wanted to get his name talked about with a poorly timed column. Congrats dude (not mentioning your name), folks are talking (even me).
And they call this a democracy?
For some reason, I still have not been named a baseball Hall of Fame voter, but if I was here is how my ballot would look. Eddie Murray, Jack Morris, Ryan Sandberg, Gary Carter, Rich Gossage, Bert Blyleven, and Bruce Sutter. I would not have used all 10 of my slots this year. And if you don’t agree with me, well then buster, that’s one of the things that makes baseball so great. So why didn’t I pick some people (this is WAY more fun)? Andrew Dawson? Too much could’ve been. Steve Garvey? Would’ve been far too difficult to pick which of his kids introduced him. Keith Hernandez and Danny Tartabull? Seinfeld alone will not get you in the Hall. Vince Coleman? Ceremony would be held up waiting for he and Claudell Washington to return from the VIP men’s room. Tommy John? Having a disease named after you gets you in the Hall, same can’t be said for a surgery. Jim Kaat? Noot enough staats. Dale Murphy? Maybe next year. Tony Pena? ripped off Mr. T’s look. Lee Smith? one day, soon. And, Don Mattingly? This hurts too much to discuss.
Quote Of The Day
Giving this one to my buddy Vern. As we stood there and watched a group of women who were way too old to be in a bar at 1 AM on a Monday shake there hips on the 1’s and 3’s to Missy Elliot, he busted out “That’s what happens when people over 30 hear a beat.”
Yeah, it was sweet
Dude, Georgia won the Sugar Bowl! I must’ve said that 100 times the past couple of days. I just like to remind myself. Here’s some highlights from my journey to the Cresent City.
*Leaving Athens after work, and seeing a guy stading on GA 316 in Statham at 4:38 AM EST on December 31st holding a big three foot Super G with his thumb out. Not sure if that’s inspring or depressing, but it is note worthy.
*Stopping for gas just south of Montgomery and asking the guy behind the counter what kind of weather I was driving into, to have him reply “You’re going right into it. The bad stuff starts about mile marker 93 right down by the county line.” Sure enough, a few minutes later the a gully washer hit, at that time I looked to my right and saw the 93 mile marker, a couple of miles later I hit the county line.
*My hotel was ~SWANK!~ I highly reccomend Le Pavillon for any of your NOLA visits.
*Got two parking tickets for a total of $30, better than the $60 or so it would have cost me to put my car in the hotel lot.
*Georgia fans do wear some cheesy hats.
*Cell Phones are really cool, I like mine.
*Deciding how close we were gonna get to the gate before buying tickets. Finally picking them up for $20 each. Then few yards later overhearing this exchange between “ticket agents:” “Bad day.” “I’m gettin’ killed.”
*Listening to my friend Norm discuss with the guy sitting behind us the wear and tear on their hats. Just one of those cool guy moments.
*Running into a group of FSU fans who were literely begging us to talk smack. It was like they wanted to defend their program by bringing up the histroy of the past 15 years and reveling in it. Weird moment.
*Having a “clean out the pockets morning.” You know the ones where you start pulling receipts out and thinking to yourself “Wow! I don’t remember our tab being that high there.” or “Why in the blue hell did we go to the Hustler Club?” or “Hmmmm? I ate pancakes?”
*Acctually hearing someone order a “beday.” Classic comedy moment.
*The nice people at Harrah’s almost paying for my hotel and only requiring me to put in about an hour’s work.
*Most of all (well, with the possible exception of the UGA winning the Sugar Bowl thing) getting to see old friends from near and far who I don’t get to spend enough time with these days. To all my buddies I ran into and hung out with, thanks for making my trip extra sweet. And yeah, I reflected on what a good time my father would’ve had and how much he would’ve loved this trip. Couldn’t stop thinking about him.
So thank you Bulldogs!
Rank Not Stank
The world can stop holding its collective breath, here is the official andrewhealan.com Top 50 albums of the year. First, a discalimer — obviously the most brilliant album of 2002 was the Violent Femmes re-issue of Violent Femmes. But in fairness to the other LPs that came out this year, I have removed it from consideration. So, here we go:
(50) New Found Glory Sticks And Stones, (49) Andrew W.K. I Get Wet, (48) Black Label Society 1919 Eternal, (47) Christina Aguilera Stripped, (46) Blackalicious Blazing Arrow, (45) Counting Crows Hard Candy, (44) Pearl Jam Riot Act, (43) Red Hot Chili Peppers By The Way, (42) Jucifer I Name You Destroyer, (41) South From Here On In, (40) Unwritten Law Elva, (39) Jurassic 5 Power In Numbers, (38) The Donnas Spend The Night, (37) Riddlin’ Kids Hurry Up And Wait, (36) Clinic Walking With Thee, (35) The Hives Veni Vidi Vicious, (34) TRUSTcompany The Lonely Position Of Neutral, (33) Earshot Letting Go, (32) Pink M!ssundaztood, (31) Foo Fighters One By One, (30) Kenny Chesney No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem, (29) Phantom Planet The Guest, (28) Badly Drawn Boy Have You Fed The Fish?, (27) Gordon Gano Hitting The Ground, (26) Jerry Cantrell Degradation Trip, (25) Various Artist Rise Above, (24) Thursday Full Collapse, (23) Dashboard Confessional The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most, (22) Dream Theater Six Degrees Of InnerTurbulence, (21) Paul Oakenfold Bunkka, (20) David Bowie Heathen, (19) Local H Here Comes The Zoo, (18) …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead Source Tags & Codes, (17) Elvis Costello When I Was Cruel, (16) The Vines Highly Evolved, (15) Johnny Cash American Recording IV: The Man Comes Around, (14) Queens Of The Stone Age Songs For The Deaf, (13) Rhett Miller The Instigator, (12) Weezer Maladroit, (11) Bowling For Soup Drunk Enough To Dance, (10) Audioslave Audioslave, (9) Coldplay A Rush Of Blood To The Head, (8) Drive By Truckers Southern Rock Opera, (7) Willie Nelson Stars & Guitars, (6) Norah Jones Come Away With Me, (5) Ryan Adams Demolition, (4) Sparta Wiretap Scars, (3) The Flaming Lips Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, (2) Beck Sea Change, AND (1) Wilco Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Now, go buy any of these you don’t have.
Another Sad Day
We just keep losing the good ones. Started my day with the tragic news of Joe Strummer’s death. The Clash are a band I always enjoyed growing up, but did not really appreciate until my later years. They worked almost every imaginable musical style into the basic three chord punk song and managed to write socially profound punk lyrics. For a while they truely were “the only band that mattered.” Long after The Clash were no more, the band, and Joe especially, remained an icon and influenced so many of the artists I have enjoyed the past couple of decades. I was anticipating their induction to The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame this spring. Hoping against hope to see one last performance from one of the most idolized bands in rock history. So, Joe, thanks for the good tunes and the good times.
Have you heard the one about?
So, Mike Piazza and Hulk Hogan walk into an art gallery together… Set for a great punch line? OR the new 10-10-220 commercial?
Tis The Season For Free Booze
In the past couple of weeks I have attended quite a few “office” x-mas parties. The difference is, when your office is a bar, the whole holiday party has a different vibe. First and foremost, seeing your co-workers drunk is not the least bit unusual, actually expected. The risk of someone having too much and performing some monumental feat of stupidity is no greater than any other Monday – Saturday. Also, most bars have a relatively small staff. However, you end up with roughly four times the number of party goers as employees. Everyone who hangs out at the establishment tends to either be invited, or find out and crash on their own. Maybe it’s the free booze or maybe the “hip factor” of hanging out at the bar when it’s not open. Well, I’ve got my “office” x-mas party this weekend. And despite the expectations of those who don’t work there, it is usually one of the tamest get togethers I attend during this time of the year.