Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable

He Said What? | Andrew Healan

He Said What?

April 9th, 2005

These were some of my favorite quotes I read today. Feel free to take them out of context.
“Lies, lies, lies, that’s all I am hearing. They should look at Wendy’s. What are they hiding? Why are we being victimized again and again?”
“The simple fact of the matter is that the finger came from somebody. Where’s that person at?”
“This is a very good place for secret meetings. And there’s no risk: it’s normal for a girl to come here to buy drugs.”
“I was shocked. I almost dropped the french fries.”
“Whenever I travel, people ask me where I’m from: New York or L.A.? And when I say Cincinnati, they say ‘Why?’ My answer to them is always the same: ‘You’ve obviously never been there.'”
“The column is new so you’ve got to read it and see. It’s all new. It’s new and exciting. There’s no more two-headed babies or anything like that. It’s all new, no lies. It’s fresh. It’s clean. It’s great. You’ve got to read it and see.”
“Direct removal of a live leech might be difficult because of its powerful attachment to the mucosa and its slimy and mobile body.”
“One guy said he wouldn’t mind if it squirted water on him, which is kind of weird.”
“He had been briefed on the duck and he stopped to pay a visit.”

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Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable