Man, Jim Carroll could write a song about this week. Terry Shiavo’s death eliminated about 1/3 of my act this week. Topical humor must be topical. Couldn’t really start the set “remember a couple of days ago when Terry Shiavo was still alive? Well here are some things I thought then…” I might as well have just riffed on the Lincoln assaination. Johnny Cochran’s death got completely overshadowed. Rascism in the media I tell you. And then this afternoon the Pope finally passes. To quote my buddy from earlier today “I don’t think CNN and Fox News knew what they were getting into with the round-the-clock coverage of the Pope-watch. Don’t think EITHER of them expected it to take up THAT much of their coverage. I bet they were starting to think “what are we going to do here?” Because I’m guessing it just doesn’t look good to break away from Pope-watch coverage because the poor guy was taking just too long to die.” Really they seemed to be running out of Catholics to talk to. Priests will now be telling the parrishoners “Be fruitful and multiply so that MSNBC will always have sound bites.” The electronic media had plenty of time on their hands though, seeing as how those video retrospectives on the Pope’s life had been in the can for a few year. I am anxiously awaiting the process of selecting the new Pope. That’s got to be one cut-throat competition. Some of the logic baffles me already. There was a guy on the radio today saying they’ll probobly pick an older pope so he’ll die sooner. Apparently they don’t want another long reign. Is that how they can justify a Latino Pope? But surely they can’t have two in a row that aren’t Italian. And on top of all this, my favorite contemporary comic (and one of my all time favs) drops. Mitch Hedberg was a comedy legend in the making. But it’s a sad case we’ve all seen before and unfortunately will see again. To borrow a Todd Snider lyric “Alcohol and pills / It’s a crying shame / You’d think they might have been happy / With the glory and the fame / The fame don’t take away / It just pays the bills / And you wind up on alcohol and pills.” At first I was sad thinking of all the great material he was depriving me over the years. Then I became angry thinking of all the great material he was depriving me of over the years. So fuck you Mitch! God damned junkies. Now time to mourn in my own little way — beer and a jager.
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