Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable

Time To Wear Funny Hats

May 3rd, 2003

If I get a bet in later, this is what I am leaning toward for the 129th Kentucky Derby — I like Empire Maker (6-5) to show, Indian Express (12-1) to place and Peace Rules (8-1) to win. Happy gaming to all those heading to the OTB.

A Weird Sad End

May 1st, 2003

As a pre-teen proffesional wrestling fan seeing Miss Elizabeth on my television screen gave my a funny, tingly feeling that I didn’t quite understand. This evening. seeing her on my television gave me a funny, empty feeling that, unfortunately, I do understand. Elizabeth Heulette, better known to wrestling fans as The Lovely Miss Elizabeth was rushed to Kennestone Hospital early this morning where she died.

In an interesting study of how modern media works, the story evolved and develpoed throughout the day. Atlanta area medai outlets — newspapers, television and radio — had what seemed like half hourly updates throughout the day. And all made good use of their web sites. Which was appropriate, because the Internet is where the wrestling community gathers to celebrate and mourn wrestling superstars and tradgedies.

The Cobb County police have ruled out foul play, so all signs now point to an overdose. Yet another sad case of drugs ending the life of a wrestling star. So it looks like Larry didn’t OJ her, or Spector her or Blake her.

Miss Elizabeth came on the wrestling seen well over a decade before the term diva was bandied about. She wan’t wrestling in pudding matches or rolling around with other women in her bra and panties. There had been a few before her — Baby Doll, Precious, Sunshine, Missy Hyatt — but Elizabeth brought a grace and class that had never before been seen. She accompanied one of the biggest heels in the business to the ring, always recieved loud ovations from male and female fans alike. She rarely spoke, and when she did, it was in a meek tender voice that made you want to shelter her from all that could bring harm to her. Back in the day, there was no better way to garner heat from a crowd than to threaten Miss Elizabeth. She stood by her man (Savage) despite the way her bossed her around and kept her in his shadows (a situation that all fans could identify and sympathize with). Elizabeth and Savage were eventually married, then divorced. She stayed in the business and despite the T&A aspect that came to encompass divadom in pro wrestling never resorted to skimpy clothing or slutty behavior to win the fans over.

So, toll the bell for Elizabeth Heulette, the true First Lady of Pro Wrestling.

Fannnnncraptic

April 25th, 2003

The NBA provides little interest to me, and I am not a conspiricy theorist… but did you see the t’wolves/lakers game tonight? Let’s overlook the fact that a post season game ended at 2:32 AM EST. But the freaking calls down the stretch. You’re kidding me. I now would put major money on the Knicks getting the rights to draft LeBron James (or at the very least the Bulls). What little interest and respect I had remaining for the Association is basically gone at this point. They are not even trying to hide it.

Things I Like

April 11th, 2003

It just doesn’t get much better than overtime playoff hockey. But there is baseball in full swing. Gotta love a time of the year where the Royals are a juggernaut. And it’s Masters weekend. The NFL draft is just around the corner. And baseketball is almost over. Good times, good times indeed.

Damn Dirty Dogs

March 11th, 2003

I know I am in the minority, but I think the University of Georgia made the right decission by electing to remove its men’s basketball team from post-season play. See, a week from now, the entire nation will be neck-deep in March Madness. There will be too much bracketology going on to spend much time thinking about the problems in Athens. So, the University just saved itself about three weeks of more negative publivity on college basketball’s biggest stage. And with a team that’s probably going to have to forfeit all 19 of its wins as it is, any money gained from these games would not have stayed in Athens. Now, let’s look at would’ve happend on the court. This team would be playing without its head coach, usually not a recipie for success. Add on to that, two key players being suspended from a team that really only goes seven deep. Maybe, they would’ve gotten past an awful Arkansas team. After that they’d be leaving the Cresent City on Friday night. Then, with a sure drop in their NCAA tournament seeding (to probably at least a six, maybe a seven) there would be a high probability of a first round exit. So, the University also spared itself two embarassing losses that the whole country would be talking about. It is unfortunate for the players (on the 1% chance there is a clean one on the team) and fans who will suffer from this. But a big up to Coach Dooley for having the foresight ot make the difficult, but correct, call. Now, as far as the future goes, Jarvis Hayes will probably have already announced he is leaving for the draft by the time you read this (that’s a fact, just not a public one yet). Jim Harrick is fired, they just can’t announce it as such yet. The University is already gonna take a severe financial hit on all of this and a lawsuit from Harrick (ala Knight at Indiana) would only add to the money woes. Let’s hope that Mike Adams and his heavy-handed, parking in handicapped spaces ass is right on their tails going west on Ga 316.

Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable