Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable

Our Nation’s Interest Are Out Of Whack

January 17th, 2003

OK, terrorism is a bad thing. But I had an internal running joke while I was out tonight: which will be higher — the number of beers I drink or the number of drug deal I see go down? It was close, but beers took the crown. And I assure you that is more a testament to my alcohol tollerance than the law enforcement of ACC.

And then there was ten

January 14th, 2003

So the Raw Tenth anniversary is coming up in a few minutes, thought I’d pass along my votes. Superstar of the Decade: Steve Austin, Diva of the Decade: Sunny, and Greatest Raw Moment: Chris Jericho’s debut. But hey, it won’t really be a party unless Scott Hall comes stumbling in drunk. And the homo-erotic overtones in the HHH/Scott Steiner fued are just frightening.

Yeah, it was sweet

January 3rd, 2003

Dude, Georgia won the Sugar Bowl! I must’ve said that 100 times the past couple of days. I just like to remind myself. Here’s some highlights from my journey to the Cresent City.

*Leaving Athens after work, and seeing a guy stading on GA 316 in Statham at 4:38 AM EST on December 31st holding a big three foot Super G with his thumb out. Not sure if that’s inspring or depressing, but it is note worthy.

*Stopping for gas just south of Montgomery and asking the guy behind the counter what kind of weather I was driving into, to have him reply “You’re going right into it. The bad stuff starts about mile marker 93 right down by the county line.” Sure enough, a few minutes later the a gully washer hit, at that time I looked to my right and saw the 93 mile marker, a couple of miles later I hit the county line.

*My hotel was ~SWANK!~ I highly reccomend Le Pavillon for any of your NOLA visits.

*Got two parking tickets for a total of $30, better than the $60 or so it would have cost me to put my car in the hotel lot.

*Georgia fans do wear some cheesy hats.

*Cell Phones are really cool, I like mine.

*Deciding how close we were gonna get to the gate before buying tickets. Finally picking them up for $20 each. Then few yards later overhearing this exchange between “ticket agents:” “Bad day.” “I’m gettin’ killed.”

*Listening to my friend Norm discuss with the guy sitting behind us the wear and tear on their hats. Just one of those cool guy moments.

*Running into a group of FSU fans who were literely begging us to talk smack. It was like they wanted to defend their program by bringing up the histroy of the past 15 years and reveling in it. Weird moment.

*Having a “clean out the pockets morning.” You know the ones where you start pulling receipts out and thinking to yourself “Wow! I don’t remember our tab being that high there.” or “Why in the blue hell did we go to the Hustler Club?” or “Hmmmm? I ate pancakes?”

*Acctually hearing someone order a “beday.” Classic comedy moment.

*The nice people at Harrah’s almost paying for my hotel and only requiring me to put in about an hour’s work.

*Most of all (well, with the possible exception of the UGA winning the Sugar Bowl thing) getting to see old friends from near and far who I don’t get to spend enough time with these days. To all my buddies I ran into and hung out with, thanks for making my trip extra sweet. And yeah, I reflected on what a good time my father would’ve had and how much he would’ve loved this trip. Couldn’t stop thinking about him.

So thank you Bulldogs!

Job Opening

December 16th, 2002

With Al Gore officialy out of the picture, the Democrats now get the task of weeding through their crop of un-qualified candidates. I won’t even begin to speculate on how anyone would match of with Bush, WAY too many events can, and will, happen in the next two years to alter the public opinion of him. Let’s look at the list:

Tom Daschle (Sen, SD) — Well he should carry South Dakota, so that’s good for 3 electoral votes. Will largely depend on how he takes being castrated by Senate Republicans the next two years.

Dick Gephardt (Rep, MO) — Some would say he looks too much like Opie to be President. But hey, our current Commander In Chief could have easily been a cast member of Petticoat Junction. Maybe he’ll get lucky and NASCAR fans will think they see the name Earnhardt on the ballot (it is the nation’s #1 spectator sport you know).

John Kerry (Sen, MA) — The Kennedy comparisons will make or break him. Could get behind him more if he sounded more like Diamond Joe Quimby, just not enough of an accent.

John Edwards (Sen, NC) — Maybe when he bows out after Iowa his wife will put together a nice scrap book for him. Then he can spend the next six months debating Allan Keyes on talk shows.

Howard Dean (Gov, VT) — Who is this guy? Well the man that’s done more work to get the nomination than anyone else so far. I think he’ll end up with it because everyone else will pass or get scandalized out. Say it with me DEAN IS KEAN! DEAN IS KEAN!

Or the Dems could get really ballsy and ride that Jimmy Carter publicity wave. Don’t laugh, Mondale is back after all

Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable