Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable

Spelling D-O-G | Andrew Healan

Spelling D-O-G

October 2nd, 2004

I am going to try to keep a running diary on today’s Georgia LSU game. We’ll see how this goes. All times are Central.
11:44 AM Someone called into the LSU pre-game show to ask one of the hosts (BillyJoe Hokideaux or something) “what do you think about today’s game?” Look jackass, these guys are gonna spend the next three hours talking about nothing other than what they think about today’s game. Could you narrow that down just a bit for us? Maybe a question about the O or D or a specific postion. Hell even a weather question.
1:32 PM During Georgia’s pre-game show there was a promo for georgiadogs.com. And the announcer made sure to emphasize “that’s dog with an O.” I guess that move up to 49th in average SAT didn’t have much of an impact on the Peach State.
2:19 PM An announcer on the LSU pre-game just brought up an interesting point that I had never thought of… Sanford Stadium is built so that the field goes east/west. Therefore, when the sun is setting it’s always in one team’s eyes. He also seemed amazed that when you enter the stadium at street level you’re actually halfway up the stadium because it’s built in a natural valley.
2:36 PM A suggestion for EA Sports. I was thinking of how LSU uses a runningback-by-committee approach. However, this is quite cumbersome to use in NCAA 2005. Pause, go to in game strategy, go to depth chart, sub guy, go back to game. To have to repeat this for every substituion is a real pain and slows the game down dramaticly (not to mention may earn you an ass whippin’ if you are playing against an actual person). So next year, how about a quick sub option? A simple request from a loyal customer.
2:41 PM Did West Virginia really just run a reverse into a halfback pass? And did it really just work? I couldn’t do that on rookie level against the Fire on Madden.
2:43 PM Nice interception there by James Griffin for VPI. However, I gotta think they deserved the excessive celebration penalty. Anytime an assistant coach runs onto the field to dry hump his strong safety a team should have to go back at least 15 yards.
2:46 PM I miss Jill Arrington. But the new CBS SEC sideline reporter is a cutey.
2:47 PM The net cast of Munson is at least a play behind TV. Sorry Larry, you’re going on mute.
2:48 PM Hey, UGA didn’t convert a 3rd down against LSU. That seems familier.
2:53 PM Ray Gant technically gets the sack but man Thomas Davis is a force. Other than Antrel Rolle, he may be the best defensive player in college football. Nice to see UGA get a blitzing sack on LSU. That’s a nice change.
2:57 PM There’s that LSU blitz. Nice to see David Greene has his fleet feet on today.
2:59 PM Great audible by Greene. I think all 10 of the other guys heard him. Danny Ware makes me smile. Things I will never get sick of hearing Munson say “There goes Danny Ware.”
3:01 PM The Sanford Stadium 25 yard line logo sure does look CGIed.
3:02 PM Reggie motherfuckin’ Brown! The passing attack looked great on the first drive. That may ease off the blitzing from the Tigers. A consistent outside passing attack beyond the 10 yard out mark will make for a good day.
3:09 PM Three and out. No complaints about UGA’s D so far. Pollack closes in on Tardits. Glad he didn’t suffer the anti-French sentiment form a couple of years ago. He’s an amazing story that did not and does not get enough credit. Here comes DJ. Glad people have stopped harping about the two QB situation at UGA. It’s so much different than LSU’s. Richt’s not going with a hot hand platooning system. Nice runn there DeeJ.
3:15 PM BIG TIME pass! People spend so much time talking about DJ’s speed they forget he’s got a world class arm. Reggie Brown is stepping it up. And the O line is giving their QBs time to throw. And it’s paying off.
3:18 PM Webster is shutting Gibson down. However, your other option is trying to pick on Daniels. Not much of an option.
3:19 PM Andy Bailey staying solid from 35 yards in. That’s good, because the red zone problems haven’t been solved yet. But hey two drives, two scores. I can handle that. I have no problem not seeing Ely-Kelso any more today.
3:23 PM Holy Moses. This game isn’t shaping up how I thought. Turnovers on the right side of the 50 butter my bread. Hey, Thomas Brown, you’re not Barry Sanders. You’re driving towards Tate not the Train Tracks.
3:25 PM One quarter in, ten points up, they passing attack has had success, got some solid running yards, have shut down the Tiger O, recovered a fubmle, three drives two scores. All these are good things. Think I’ll pop open a long neck.
3:29 PM David Greene can pick up a blitz. That might come in handy today.
3:30 PM Danny Ware! Did you hear me? I said Danny Ware!
3:32 PM The drought is over. Fred Gibson went up and got that one. Will Muschamp just swallowed his tounge.
3:34 PM Did UGA just kick the ball off into the end zone? How many seasons since that happened?
3:36 PM Guess who’s back. Odell is one bad mutha… shut your mouth.
3:37 PM Well it can’t be all good. Now Georgia’s got Massive Head Wound Danny in the locker room. (“He smells my dog.”)
3:39 PM 4 & 1. Going for it. BALLS OUT! Georgia’s moving on down (moving on down) to the east side (of the stadium) to a deluxe touchdown in the endzone. Blitz don’t work on the QB, CBs don’t cover on the sides. Took a whole lot of blocking, just to get that yard. Now we’re down in the red zone, getting our turn at six. As long as we live, I’m bleeding red and black and there ain’t nuthin’ wrong with dat.
3:40 PM Another Reggie Brown TD. I’m starting to believe.
3:45 PM JaMarcus just OD(ell)ed.
3:46 PM I’m sorry Chris Jackson but this is for real, i know this song sounds gay, but you’re gonna punting all day.
3:57 PM For those UGA fans feeling cocky right now, look what happened to Army. Actually don’t, it’s Army for crying out loud.
4:00 PM Gordo with the tackle. Give him a bone.
4:04 PM Addai give LSU there first big play of the game. That was a quality run. That team relly needs to get on the board before the half.
4:07 PM Dwayne Bowe did not just throw down a punk card on Greg Blue? Tell me he didn’t? Think he may pay for that later? I just hope Blue doens’t get so preoccupied with decapitating Bowe that he gets burned.
4:15 PM Exacatly when did Sheryl Crow decide she wanted to become a redneck? Singing with Kid Rock, doing Wrangler commercials with Lil E? Ain’t that a bit much? By the way, in the state of Mississippi, you can get your official and legal state plates with either a Dale or Dale Jr tribute on them. Complete with #3 or #8 and and driver’s signature.
4:17 PM FUCK! O can’t move. Shitty punt. Give up a field goal. My step is now less springy.
4:19 PM Half time.
5:04 PM Nice muff there by ole “Toaster Hands” Tim. Let’s hope that nickname doesn’t stick.
5:07 PM UGA needed that pass. The O has been stagnent. Gibson made Greene look good there. Up your butt Webster. And there goes Ware again. This drive is starting to come together. This sounds too obvious, but the Dogs really need a score here.
5:10 PM Gibson is eating Webster’s lunch now. That’s the Fred I remember from three years ago. Big time game from Fred (and Reggie) when the Dogs really needed it.
5:12 PM They just hit the over.
5:14 PM Xavier Carter just got the bone head of the day award. He will never, and I mean NEVER, live that down. He can break every receiving record at the school and when talking about him people will still bring up that play and show that clip.
5:18 PM Good field position, let’s put this one away boys.
5:20 PM 100+ for Danny Ware against the LSU D. Take that Cadillac.
5:21 PM Hello Sean Bailey, welcome to the David Greene Touchdown party. The bar is open, and set high.
5:29 PM (llll_) That’s my attempt at a holding four fingers in the air emoticon.
5:32 PM I would like to say that I am not opposed to seeing DJ finish this game out.
5:34 PM DJ is looking nice. solid run. Scary toss to Ware, but, hey, it worked.
5:35 PM Gutsy try by Brown. Really put his body on the line there. I personally think he caught the ball. And hey Deej, nice throw buddy. Yeah the drive stalled, but I liked what I saw.
5:38 PM And a kiss my ass to my local ABC affiliate for giving me the Colorado/Mizzu game. My buddy Rob seems to think that’s more geographicly appropriate than the Miami/Ga Tech game. I seem to think Atlanta is closer to New Orleans than Columbia.
5:42 PM What’s that coming down the track? Five sacks baby! Somebody buy Van Gorder a beer.
5:45 PM Hmmm? Why is Greene back in the game?
5:46 PM I like the Brown one. He is good running back.
5:53 PM TB for the TD. Tough running by the little guy (he’s my size). and 45 on the Tigers is something nice. Nice indeed.
6:06 PM I’m sorry Chris Jackson but this is for real, you’re gonna make Derek Dooley cry, you better apologize a million times.
6:07 PM Onsides kick? Heh, what the hell?
6:10 PM BALL GAME!
6:11 PM 45-16. Hey, UGA can score. I don’t think there is too much to complain about today. The Dogs are back on everyone’s national championship radar. On to the post game show featuring Tony Schiavone. That still cracks me up. This win will also make life between the river and the lake a bit easier for me. A Powerball win would really cap this night off for me. Thanks for anyone who made it all the way through this.

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Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable