I love my car, I really do. I bought MY first car, kept it for nine years, then bought basically the exact same car but nine years newer. Among its many wonderful qualities is fuel effeciency. Thank goodness, because the other day it costs me over $18 to fill the tank. Without a doubt, a record. I would think living in the world’s secondest busiest port, gas prices would be more reasonable. Afterall, we’re getting first dibs when it hits American soil right? I wondered if I could go down to the docks and buy some bootlegged gas. Just some guy standing on the corner, wearing an overcoat in 90 degree weather claiming his stuff is just as good as what you would get at the stores (“Is like Exxon.” “Has Texaco guts.”). You go up and have that awkward exchange of slang and euphamisms, then he opens his coat and slips you a milk jug filled with go juice. Then he starts to haggle about the price (just my luck not to bring any 9/10 cent coins). But this could effect the actual drug market. What about those poor souls who use tractor fuel when cooking up their meth? Surely they’re feeling the pinch just like the rest of us. Yup crime and gas, they go hand in hand. Why aren’t more criminals staking out the pumps. If you see someone pull up with a big honking SUV, you know they got some dough. But during these trying times, I have found a way to use the soaring fuel prices to my advantage. I now keep only about 1/8 of a tank in my car. Knowing that if any would be theif makes it past my top of the line anti-theft system, they will look at the fuel gage and leave me car be, knowing the costs of getting it back to the chop shop would not offset the street value of my factory sound system.
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