Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable

Cashing In

September 19th, 2003

Despite their best efforts, the government can’t stop you, the banks can’t stop you, your wife and/or girlfriend can’t stop you. You’re playing the games, and here are this weeks useful tools.
DISCLAIMER: I’m writing this sober for a change.
TOP PLAY
Miami (-12 1/2) over BC
It’s not quite the Catholics versus Convicts series we all loved so much, but it’ll do. While Coker’s boys will be only the second most destructive Hurricane this week, they easily cover a couple of TDs against the school with all the Catherines, Katies, and Kates. No scares this year.
WORTH CONSIDERING
Wake Forest (-19) over ECU
The Decons might not be Top 25 material afterall, but the Pirates are struggling to be one of the Top 5 schools in North Carolina. Better parties? That goes to ECU. Hotter chicks? once again, ECU. the 19 points though go to Wake.
Florida (-3 1/2) over Tennessee
No game in America furthers my postulate that there’s no tasteful way to wear orange more than this one. The biggest question after this game will be if someone has been clever enough to secure phirephil.com?
Purdue (-25) over Arizona
I’m definately not gonna back Mac. The 25 points is easy taking, but I have to wonder how many of Purdue’s touchdowns won’t make the highlight reel do to time constraints.
NC St (-6 1/2) over Texas Tech
Put the over/under on combined passing yards somewhere around 850. Don’t let the two losses fool you, The Pack are still one of the nation’s elite teams.
Michigan (-7 1/2) over Oregon
Chris and his Perry band of Wolverines are gonna hush the rowdies on the field where Pinto popped his cherry.
Cincinnati (-14) over Temple
Don’t be misled by the performance in Happy Valley, the Owls ain’t that good (and neither is Penn St). My boy Gino takes another step towards a profitable pro career.
Pittsburg (-10) over Toledo
Walt Harris might be a spineless duush, but he’s still a helluva coach. Panthers take the early psychological advantage when Rutherford kicks out the windows of the Rocket’s team bus.
TCU (-12) over Vanderbilt
I’ve still got the Frogs pegged as my BCS buster and I’ve still got Vandy pegged as a SEC school running a Southern Conference offense.
UNDERDOG OF THE WEEK
North Texas (+21 1/2) over Arkansas
The Mean Green are gonna come screaming into the state with the highest per capita millionaires and ain’t gonna leave until they lose by less than three touchdowns. The Hogs win, but the Sun Belt champs-to-be hang around.
Best of luck, and have a Miller Lite or a Crown and Coke tonight, it’s September 19.

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Andrew Healan

New Orleans comedian and host of the podcast That Sounds Reasonable