Chiang Mai, Thailand — Moved up a few hundred kilometers north. I still can’t tell you exactly how far that is, or even really have a perspective, without pen and paper. Oh metric conversions how you still haunt me.
Many Thais, especially in touristy areas, speak at least some English. Sometimes I don’t want to talk to people, especially if they are trying to tell me something. So, I have to pretend like I don’t speak English. I’ve come up with a certain type of gibberish that sounds like an eastern European language. It does the trick. I just smile, spout some gibberish and keep walking.
A lady working at the cab stand looked at my bethonged feet with envy. They were so white. The fairer the skin the better here. The drug stores are full of different products to whiten the skin. I was quite ashamed of my alabaster pedals. We then began to discuss how people always want to be what they’re not. If you have curly hair, you want straight hair, etc. This went on for a couple of minutes until I finally made my way to the cab. Body image and its societal effects was some pretty heady conversation for a cab stand. I didn’t get to tell her how I enjoy giving my friends crap about being tan. Reminding them it does not send out an inviting message to the opposite sex like they think. If you’re female, it says “I am a kept woman. I have a man, he takes care of me, so I just lay out all day bronzing my epidermis. I do not need you sir.” If you are male it says “I’m a laborer. I work outside all day. I smell bad, earn little money and have no benefits. I can not provide for you or any other woman.” None the less, I’m still going to spend a couple of weeks at the beach next month.
Hearing Christmas carols in Thai is just bizarre. In case you were wondering, there is apparently no direct translation for Frosty The Snowman. I wonder if they just observe the commercial version of Christmas? Or, do they somehow meld Christianity and Buddhism into one mega holiday. If so, I bet Santa Buddha is one fat dude.
I want to make a movie about a black Superman. The tagline will be “The last brother of Krypton.” The soundtrack will be done my identical twin rapping duo the Dopllegangstas. Start printing the money folks.
I’ve gotten numerous messages from friends about being in Bangkok, most made some not so thinly veiled reference to prostitution. That’s a situation and a reputation the emerged when troops would come to Thailand from Vietnam on R&R. Only America could come into a country and say “you’ve got centuries of being a cultural mecca of southeast Asia. You’ve giving the world great food, amazing art, stunning fabrics and twins with incredible surgery stories. What’s say we scrap all that and turn you into one big brothel?” At least France didn’t go for it when we tried to turn them into Disneyland.
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