Much like Chris Rix, I am trying to avoid being a hurricane’s bitch. This Ivan, he’s very indecisive. Over the past few days, I’ve seen about a billion different projections on Ivan’s track. As best I could tell the storm was gonna hit somewhere between Maine and Hawaii. Now, he appears to have southeast Louisiana in his sites, slapping hand cocked and ready. Yesterday morning, we were pretty safe, then in the afternoon they issued a “voluntary evacuation.” What the blue hell is that? I can voluntarily evacuate anytime I want. So basically. the mayor said “you can leave if you want to.” Well, thanks for acknowledging my free will. As you can imagine, Ivan is dominating the media coverage down here. Yesterday a guy holed up in his French Quarter apartment. The SWAT team was called, several blocks were closed off, tear gas was used. This story got about 30 seconds of airtime last night… after the first commercial break. I keep watching, waiting for one of the reporters or anchors to accidentlly say “mandatory ejaculation.” So far, no luck with that. I’m awaiting the news conference in a few minutes. I hope they kick us all out. I don’t wanna be here.
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